At one time, it was customary for widows to wear black when they were grieving or mourning. Unfortunately, as the Patriarchy always does, they created so many rules around what a widow was and was not "allowed" to do when she was in mourning, that it became more of a burden to to women than a blessing (as per usual) and the custom was abandoned. I wish we could go back to it - or something like it - as a visual sign to others (like you said) that we are maxed out right now and can't handle anything more. I feel this Sarah, deeply. So many people here right now with you....
At one time, it was customary for widows to wear black when they were grieving or mourning. Unfortunately, as the Patriarchy always does, they created so many rules around what a widow was and was not "allowed" to do when she was in mourning, that it became more of a burden to to women than a blessing (as per usual) and the custom was abandoned. I wish we could go back to it - or something like it - as a visual sign to others (like you said) that we are maxed out right now and can't handle anything more. I feel this Sarah, deeply. So many people here right now with you....
Oh how I can relate. You are most definitely not alone.