Two years ago, I was a mess.
I quickly learned that when one part of your life falls apart, everything else can come crashing down around you.
During the spring of 2021, I did a lot of writing. I was writing to get my name in publications. I started copywriting to make a little extra money and try to find some direction for the future. I wrote to reflect while struggling to find the words to express what I was really going through.
In the fall of 2020, I had joked that I really needed a sabbatical to give me time to finish the camping memoir I had started in 2018. I really believed in what that book could be, and I wanted to take the time to sit down and really work on it. But when I was finally “given” the time a few months later, I had no idea what to do. I was frozen by pain and fear and the inability to make decisions about what each given day was going to look like. Forget writing a book; I had completely lost the plot in my own life.
Then, the decision to self-publish a book of essays helped me to heal and reflect in ways that I didn’t think was possible anymore.
As I continue to move into 2023, I’m finding a focus and intentionality in my writing that I’ve never had before. I’ve always loved writing, and even successfully spent two years writing at least one blog post a week, but that writing workshop was often a practice in “just writing.” I felt obligated to write even when I didn’t have material to write about. A glance through those days in my WordPress demonstrates a mix of mind-blowing commentary and meaningless content. I’m not ashamed of it; I’m just being honest about what it means to learn how to write even when you have nothing to write about.
Not only do I now feel like I have my groove back, which I commented on when interviewed for the Better on the Inside Podcast, I’m ready to move forward with my writing. Inspired by reading Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert, I realize the importance of being creative while also fully embracing the career (teaching) that I already have. So I’m going to start digging deeper and writing about what really matters to me. I will freelance when what I have to write applies to the few outlets where my words fit, and then do more deep reflection here.
Will I continue to write travel posts? Of course, because travel is part of who I am. But if I’ve learned anything from my fellow Substackers in nearly a year of writing on the platform, I don’t need to lock myself into the same time every week for people to want to read what I have to say. When we have new travels to write about (and we have a lot planned for 2023), I will continue with my Friday post drops. Otherwise, you can look forward to more writing from the heart, both in my free and paid subscriptions.
Which brings me to my changes to my newsletter, starting in March.1
Benefits for free subscribers
As always, you will get most of my posts and all of my newsletters. I will continue to occasionally post in the chat to give you life updates as I work to be more intentional about my social media use. Because I still have a career outside of writing, I will probably limit these posts to one or two a month, more in the summer. But if you want to know me better and get access to more of my writing, keep reading to see what I’m going to be doing for paid subscribers.
Benefits for paid subscribers
Like many writers who try to get paid for the writing that they want to do anyway, I’ve struggled with this. After all, I need to write,2 and regularly blogging over the years has helped me hone the skills that I get paid to teach to teenagers. Occasionally I get lucky and find a website that will pay me to write for them. But I have always felt uncomfortable asking people to pay me for my writing on my blog. This is especially true as I've tried to get the people closest to me to read what I write.3
As I finished the process of writing my first book and preparing it for self-publishing, I finally felt like I had hit a creative stride that had been missing through two years of struggling to recover from personal trauma and hurt. I finally found my voice again and I really wanted to use it. But the reality is that as much as I want to use my voice, there are things I need to process with others that I’m not ready to share with everyone.
And that is where paid subscriptions are going to come in.
First, the happy news. I’m finally going to return to the camping memoir I started five years ago and never finished. It’s time and I can’t wait to see what it can become. As part of that process, I’m going to post a work-in-progress chapter every month for my paid subscribers. Hopefully I will finish the book long before I can share every single chapter, but you will get a first glimpse into what I’m hoping to publish before the end of 2023 and give me feedback along the way.
Second, I’m ready for some spicier, more challenging pieces that dive into a lot of the thoughts I’ve been processing for the last two years. And because they are more challenging, I need a safe place to present them, a place where my readers have made a very deliberate decision to spend time processing those ideas with me. I will reserve those pieces, and the related chats, to my readers. Most, if not all, of those pieces will reside under “Embracing Curiosity.” My plan is to do one of these posts every month.
And that’s it. Those are the changes coming in March. I have no idea where this road is going to end up, but I’m hopeful that you will be willing to walk it with me.
Order my new book!
I’ve written a memoir collection of essays based on several of my blog posts from the past seven years. It is available for purchase on Amazon.com.
And if you do purchase, please give it a favorable review on Amazon and Goodreads, or any other book tracking app that you might use.
Please “like” by clicking on the ❤ and share this post with your friends so that others can join me on the journey.
I will start posting monthly newsletters again at the end of March or April, depending on how these overall changes go.
Yes, I know that I should also see a therapist, but writing helps me process in ways that just talking does not. I cannot imagine what a mess I would be if I couldn’t just write out my feelings and reflections about the world around me.
It also makes marketing a book of my writing extra difficult, because I don’t want to beg my loved ones to buy it.