We Were Made for More Than Work
But our American life has convinced us that our value lies in embracing all work and no play
In Embracing Curiosity, I step away from writing about travel to comment on the bigger journey of life, exploring my faith and politics with curiosity and nuance.
I’ll be the first to admit that I am a workaholic.
In fact, right now is the first official day of Spring Break and I’m planning to spend the four days I have at home during my two-week break writing and taking care of business.
I know, I’m terrible at rest and relaxation, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t believe in it.
To be honest, I don’t know if it’s my personality or the fact that I am an American raised in a system that convinced me that the only way to be a productive member of society was to always be on the go. We are busy people. We have jobs that require us to work long hours five days a week. We fill our “free” hours with meetings and sports and activities. We believe that it is perfectly acceptable to tell people who are struggling to make ends meet that they just need to work more hours and they will be fine, arguing that if they aren’t willing to sacrifice time with family and self-renewal that they are just lazy and don’t want to get out of their impoverished situation.
Whatever made us believe that it was ok to continue living this way?
In the early months of the pandemic, I spent some time reflecting on all the ways our lives just stopped, many of us losing the many activities and responsibilities that sucked up our time and kept us so busy that many of us didn’t have time or energy to think about anything else.
We got a temporary reprieve from busy, and then we all jumped right back in.
There are a lot of things about the teaching profession that drive me crazy during different times of the year, but one of my favorite beliefs to hate on is the idea that teachers are entitled and spoiled by our scheduled vacation time, scheduled vacation time that is determined by a school calendar that communities have agreed upon.
But what if, instead of talking about the time that teachers get off during the course of the year, we asked “why don’t other professions get more time off?” What if, instead of getting angry about the breaks that others get, we prioritized everyone being given the time necessary to heal from illness and for restoration? What if we prioritized health and life satisfaction in the name of higher productivity for our entire society?
Look, I know that we like to complain about our Puritanical heritage, mindsets that were cultivated over hundreds of years of settling and forming a country. And there is a lot of uncomfortable complexity in that history as we consider the lives that were destroyed as pioneers moved west, working hard in harsh conditions to build new lives on land taken from indigenous peoples who had spent generations doing their own taming and cultivating of the land.
We inherited a cultural work ethic that is equal parts admirable and toxic. It’s the ethic that keeps us going when it feels like there isn’t a light at the end of the tunnel. But it’s also the ethic that forces us to show up for work when sick or mentally unhealthy or missing important family events. It’s the ethic that treats leisure as laziness and celebrates working ourselves to death, sometimes literally.
Is the tide turning? Yes, but the pushback to that social change in priorities has been uncomfortable, at best. A lot has been written about what young people want for a work/life balance, but companies have been slow to catch up.
At the heart of our social attitude has always been the desire for a better life. For Gen X and older Millennials, our parents worked hard and long hours to provide a better life for us, all while ignoring the social and economic conditions that were actually going to leave a precarious situation for our younger siblings and children. I look at my Gen Z students and children and I wonder what kind of work life awaits them. I wonder if they will be able to afford a satisfying and fulfilling life, one where they are not living for the sole purpose of work but instead working to support a full life, able to take care of their own health and give back to their communities while providing a safe and comfortable life for their families.
The optimist in me will always believe that we can do better. The Enneagram 1 in me will always believe that we have to do better. And the mother and teacher in me will continue to try teaching my children that achieving dreams is hard work, but those fulfilled dreams are only worth it if they are taking care of themselves and their relationships along the way.
As for me, I’m going to enjoy my guilt-free two-week spring break, because when it’s over I’ll be fully ready to finish out the school year and be my best self for both my family and students. And I believe that matters.
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Oh, Sarah, this piece touches on a cornerstone of my entire life. When the pandemic hit, I started to really try to unlearn how programmed I was to work ALL of the time. A mentor of mine used to say, " People get sick and tired of being sick and tired." and that said it all for me. It's so hard to unlearn! It really is. I was chatting with friends about rest this weekend and we chatted about how it's a practice to rest, because we've abandoned rest as a people so much. As someone whose brain is very goal-oriented and naturally sets high goals for herself, it's so hard for me to undo all of this conditioning. But it feels like the necessary work. Grind culture drives our economy, and you can't say "let's undo capitalism" without looking at the other systems of oppression that enable it, like racism. When we start leaning into rest, I think we start dreaming about a more sustainable future. I'm so glad we're writing, thinking about, and having these conversations.
Oh-Oh Pick Me! I did it! I put work where it belonged about 27 years ago, and I have hardly ever regretted it! It's simple, but not easy. It's not for the faint-hearted, but it's almost "having it all".
BTW, thanks for the wonderfully described dilemma real women face. But, please take a few slow, deep, grateful breaths. You certainly have earned them!