One Year Later
It's been a year since we turned our lives upside down and didn't look back
In Accepting the Unexpected, I step away from writing about travel to comment on the bigger journey of life. While the topics may vary, the central theme is always the same: living life means learning to deal with the unexpected.
Social media apps have a funny way of bringing back memories and helping you remember anniversaries. Lately, I’ve been getting a lot of photo memories related to our move to Texas seven years ago. It was a move that we were so excited for because it was something new and different and took us away from the Midwest that had been our home for most of our lives.
For most of those six years, our new lives as Texans was a true adventure. We saw things we never thought we would see. We explored the diversity of our new home state, traveled to the western United States, and started a Thanksgiving camping tradition. It was a good life, until it wasn’t. When the chaos wreaked by the 2020 election and a global pandemic finally hit our family, we decided it was time to return “home.”
So we returned to the Circle City where we had family, remaining friendships, and we could pick up the pieces and put ourselves back together with the help of those who love and know us best.
The last year has been far from perfect. I started one teaching job that I was really excited about only to discover that the position was stressing me out so much that I spent Sunday nights yelling at my family for absolutely no reason. For the first time ever, I willingly left a position during the school year (something teachers are trained to never do because it’s not in the “best interest of the students”) and started at a new school with a new department where I have felt the most at home that I’ve felt in years. I know that I have challenges ahead of me this coming school year, but I will be in the same building, in the same classroom, and with mostly the same colleagues as I ended last school year and I’m more excited than I am apprehensive.
We faced significant challenges on the parenting front, as we tried to manage our own moving transition and two new jobs for me while also helping our kids make the rocky transition in the middle of adolescence. For the first several months we faced a lot of tears, yelling, proclaimations about how we had ruined their lives, and uncertainty about the future. We made one important decision after another as we tried to give them the support they needed and often felt like we were failing. And because sometimes we need big changes, we are putting our daughter in public schools for the first time ever this coming school year in hopes that a big change will help her find her place and her people before starting high school in a year. So for the first time since our kids were in daycare/pre-school, they will be in different schools on different campuses. It’s going to be a big change for all of us, but hopefully a good one.
Over the last year we’ve visited old haunts and discovered new possiblities. We remembered how much we love fall and I grudgingly admitted that I missed the snow. We finally made it back to Michigan and this summer made one very quick trip back on a perfect beach weekend so we could enjoy the lake at her very best. And an exhausting trip to Houston so the kids could see friends did not break me like I feared that it would. Instead, it reminded me of the friendships and experiences and good that came from our six years there while making it abundantly clear that we had made the right decision to move. It will always be a part of us and I’m honestly ok with that. Our lives are richer for the good that we experienced while we lived there, and for that I am thankful.
A year ago this week we arrived back in Indiana and immediately got to work trying to heal and make it once again feel like home. One year later I can honestly say that I like the Sarah that is emerging. She has scars that will never completely heal, but they are slowly fading. She still struggles with what was lost, but is celebrating what has been gained as well. She is tougher and braver than she ever thought possible. And while there is a lot that she still wishes she could change, she hasn’t given up believing that change is possible.
Honestly, it’s been better than I could have hoped for as we continue to move forward.
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Wonderful it’s only taken a year for you to be rediscovering yourself. I’m 1 1-2 years out of NYC (moved to New Mexico) and I’m still shedding layers and discovering the now me. Thx for sharing.
Sometimes, places and people serve a purpose in our lives. Sometimes, they stop serving that purpose, and that's OK. Thanks for writing, Sarah.