My Biggest Vacation Flaw: I Don't Know How to Relax
There are just so many things to see and do
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We told stories about our anniversary trip to Hawaii while we sat at the dinner table enjoying our Easter dinner with my sister, her family, and our friends. We discussed the many places we visited and things that we saw when one of our friends asked, “Did you go hiking?”
Jeff said, “Have you met my wife?”
Then my sister asked, “Did you spend time laying out on the beach?”
Again, my loving husband responded, “Have you met my wife?”
Because of course I didn’t make laying out on the beach a top priority. It was our first time in Hawaii. I had too much to do and see and experience to waste time risking a sunburn while napping on the soft white sand with the Pacific Ocean glittering and crashing on the shore just feet away from me.
It’s stupid, right? I was in Hawaii, of all places. It was a perfect 80 degrees with glorious sunshine. Any normal human being would have taken any and all downtime to relax next to the pool or on the beach and soak up all of the sun available to them.
But then, I never want to take a day to relax and do nothing. I constantly feel the need to be on the go. I’ve always been this way.
When we went to Yellowstone National Park in our early 20s, we traveled 3000 miles in nine days with rushed stops through the Badlands, Wall Drug, and Mount Rushmore. We spent more time driving than we did vacationing, but we sure saw a lot. When we went to Key West a couple of years later, we spent most of our time in my favorite Florida destination exploring all the island city had to offer. I think I spent one day exploring the beach, the day that we went snorkeling and I was stuck out on the water and didn’t have any choice but to relax. And we still shake our heads at the 24-hour period, before kids, when we left Philadelphia, biked Valley Forge, drove around Gettysburg until sunset, and then Jeff fell asleep while I stubbornly drove our little Ford Focus through the dark Pennsylvania mountains and didn’t stop until we were pulling into our Indianapolis driveway at sunrise.
It was dumb, more than fifteen years later I still can’t believe that I did that, and I have never been able to do that since.
Clearly, a relaxing vacation does not come naturally to me.
And maybe it’s because, when I was a kid, our vacations were full of multiple itineraries. We had specific people to see, we had to be in those places by certain dates, and we would squeeze in what fun we could along the way. My parents didn’t have much money, but traveling was important to them, mostly because that was how they got to see our large extended family. I’ve been packing it all in my entire life.
When I do choose to relax, to take a book and quietly read in the middle of the day or take a nap in the sun, my family is so used to my need to constantly move that they start asking me what we are going to do next. When the planner doesn’t have anything planned, it throws off the balance for everyone else.
But sometimes they put their feet down and demand a break, and at those times I have to admit that I need those days too, although on our camping vacations those days are often swallowed up by tasks such as laundry and repacking all of our supplies. I’m reminded that my family needs time to swim in a pool or sleep in or dig in the dirt. That we don’t have to always be hiking, exploring, or visiting new places to check off of a list.
Yeah, I suck at vacation relaxation, but I keep trying. My relaxation failure rate may be high, but I’m hoping that I’ve put enough days into our next vacation to ensure at least the appearance of success.
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My oh my do I feel this to my very core! It’s so hard to just relax when you’re somewhere new and feel the need to ‘see it all’ because you’re only there for a short time! Our trip to Canada was exactly the same, staying in 4 different places in 10 days with a list of restaurants SEVENTY deep that we wanted to try. HA! We’ll get there… maybe we just need to schedule it in!